Today I received this email from a student:
"The book is just really expensive and considering this class serves me no purpose towards my career it really feels like a waste."
My first reaction was to feel sad, disappointed, and frustrated. But, then I felt an emotion that I didn't expect to feel, and that was gratitude. I felt so grateful that I had an open mind and appreciated my college experience. This allowed me to have so many rich experiences and be impacted in such profound ways; I learned something in every single class that I took and I don't consider anything that I did a waste. Every book, every class, every conversation has helped make me into the person that I am today and put me on the path to an amazing career and an amazing life. I would have missed out on so much if I were to have this mindset and it reminds me to continue to push myself to try harder and be open-minded when it comes to other areas in my life. I don't want to miss out on anything!
I share this because I was so excited today to recognize my transformation. I have had a tendency in the past to get defensive, to internalize other people's negativity and problems, to right away try to "fix" the situation and restore order, to react. But today I at first felt those feelings of disappointment and uncertainty, wondering what can I do other than what I already have to show students how important a class is, how politics affects them everyday of their lives, no matter what their major. The feeling of frustration rears its ugly head as I begin to wonder if what I say goes in one ear and out the other. But, these feelings were fleeting. And, then came those overwhelming feelings of gratitude that I described- knowing how many people and their presence has influenced me in such positive ways because I was open to it. There was the geology class that I didn't want to take because I was afraid that studying rocks would be boring. As it turns out, rocks are fascinating and so was my professor, a man who resembled a viking, but had the most gentle spirit and a quiet, but contagious enthusiasm for his subject. I was profoundly changed one day by his reaction to a preserved human body at a museum we were visiting in Austria. He quietly went up to the exhibit and in this moment his face transformed to one of awe, revealing a sense of amazement, a sense of wonder, and a sense of something larger than himself that seemed to radiate from the inside out. All I could think about was how I wanted to have this feeling, this sense of wonder, this child-like amusement, and this embodiment of peace that I saw in him. And that class is the reason that I wanted to go to Madagascar and hike among rare animals and interested terrain; at this moment I thanked myself for being open to him and to my other professors who taught me so much and still influence my life today.
And, in this moment, I was also reminded to challenge myself everyday to not dwell in negativity and to be open to situations. In graduate school, I was not the perfect student. I was so stressed out by the demands of my program that I lost my joy and even my sense of self. But, I was open to learning and I still carry with me today the lessons from these challenges. And, I will try to encourage myself to learn from that mistake...do not become so stressed about something that you lose your joy and you lose your openness. If you close yourself off, you will miss something important. Currently, I tend to do this with my fitness pursuits. I am afraid to lift heavy, I am afraid to mess up a trick, I am afraid to look awkward in the air while all the dancers and gymnasts are the portrait of poised grace and perfection. I always say, "I am not an athlete." But today's email helped me not only to recognize the role that gratitude should be playing everyday in my life, and how important your attitude really is, but also that I have myself been narrow-minded about some things. I know that I am not a natural-born athlete, but I have been shutting myself off from my true potential . I know that I cannot be the best at everything and I do not need to hold myself to those standards. But, I need to open my mind and my heart.
Thank you to this student who sent a flippant email, probably because he was in a bad mood or had extra text messages to burn; as someone who can be at times negative and can be really hard on myself, this email reminded me of what a positive outlook can bring to a person, and forced me to continue to improve myself. I am not the best and I handle situations in a less than optimal fashion sometimes, but I took a lesson from this exchange today. It is not about you. This student might have had a million reasons for writing such a rude email, but none of them had anything to do with me. How could it? I don't even know him and the course just started. He doesn't know anything about me or my classes to know that they are a waste or not relevant to his future career. I can't control him or his attitude, but I can control mine. I can look at myself and say, "you need to be more open-minded, too."
With that being said, I read this article today (serendipity?) and it really resonated with me. The bottom line: don't let other people get to you :)
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12357/how-to-deal-when-people-are-driving-you-nuts.html
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