Monkey Business

Every day I continue to learn, to evaluate, to persist, to change, to grow

Today I received this email from a student:

"The book is just really expensive and considering this class serves me no purpose towards my career it really feels like a waste."

My first reaction was to feel sad, disappointed, and frustrated. But, then I felt an emotion that I didn't expect to feel, and that was gratitude. I felt so grateful that I had an open mind and appreciated my college experience. This allowed me to have so many rich experiences and be impacted in such profound ways; I learned something in every single class that I took and I don't consider anything that I did a waste. Every book, every class, every conversation has helped make me into the person that I am today and put me on the path to an amazing career and an amazing life. I would have missed out on so much if I were to have this mindset and it reminds me to continue to push myself to try harder and be open-minded when it comes to other areas in my life. I don't want to miss out on anything!

I share this because I was so excited today to recognize my transformation. I have had a tendency in the past to get defensive, to internalize other people's negativity and problems, to right away try to "fix" the situation and restore order, to react. But today I at first felt those feelings of disappointment and uncertainty, wondering what can I do other than what I already have to show students how important a class is, how politics affects them everyday of their lives, no matter what their major. The feeling of frustration rears its ugly head as I begin to wonder if what I say goes in one ear and out the other. But, these feelings were fleeting. And, then came those overwhelming feelings of gratitude that I described- knowing how many people and their presence has influenced me in such positive ways because I was open to it. There was the geology class that I didn't want to take because I was afraid that studying rocks would be boring. As it turns out, rocks are fascinating and so was my professor, a man who resembled a viking, but had the most gentle spirit and a quiet, but contagious enthusiasm for his subject. I was profoundly changed one day by his reaction to a preserved human body at a museum we were visiting in Austria. He quietly went up to the exhibit and in this moment his face transformed to one of awe, revealing a sense of amazement, a sense of wonder, and a sense of something larger than himself that seemed to radiate from the inside out. All I could think about was how I wanted to have this feeling, this sense of wonder, this child-like amusement, and this embodiment of peace that I saw in him. And that class is the reason that I wanted to go to Madagascar and hike among rare animals and interested terrain; at this moment I thanked myself for being open to him and to my other professors who taught me so much and still influence my life today. 

And, in this moment, I was also reminded to challenge myself everyday to not dwell in negativity and to be open to situations. In graduate school, I was not the perfect student. I was so stressed out by the demands of my program that I lost my joy and even my sense of self. But, I was open to learning and I still carry with me today the lessons from these challenges. And, I will try to encourage myself to learn from that mistake...do not become so stressed about something that you lose your joy and you lose your openness. If you close yourself off, you will miss something important. Currently, I tend to do this with my fitness pursuits. I am afraid to lift heavy, I am afraid to mess up a trick, I am afraid to look awkward in the air while all the dancers and gymnasts are the portrait of poised grace and perfection. I always say, "I am not an athlete." But today's email helped me not only to recognize the role that gratitude should be playing everyday in my life, and how important your attitude really is, but also that I have myself been narrow-minded about some things. I know that I am not a natural-born athlete, but I have been shutting myself off from my true potential . I know that I cannot be the best at everything and I do not need to hold myself to those standards. But, I need to open my mind and my heart. 

Thank you to this student who sent a flippant email, probably because he was in a bad mood or had extra text messages to burn; as someone who can be at times negative and can be really hard on myself, this email reminded me of what a positive outlook can bring to a person, and forced me to continue to improve myself. I am not the best and I handle situations in a less than optimal fashion sometimes, but I took a lesson from this exchange today. It is not about you. This student might have had a million reasons for writing such a rude email, but none of them had anything to do with me. How could it? I don't even know him and the course just started. He doesn't know anything about me or my classes to know that they are a waste or not relevant to his future career. I can't control him or his attitude, but I can control mine. I can look at myself and say, "you need to be more open-minded, too." 

With that being said, I read this article today (serendipity?) and it really resonated with me. The bottom line: don't let other people get to you :)

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12357/how-to-deal-when-people-are-driving-you-nuts.html

Some of the best moments of my life....

Just over two years ago I attended a conference in Kampala, Uganda. As I have always been fascinated by animals, I made a point to visit and do some short-term volunteer work at two of the animal sanctuaries in the area. It was during this time that I met these two young chimps, Otim and Kasumba. Kasumba was a gentle soul and he wanted to be held all of the time and when he was not in my arms, he was clinging to my legs. He would always look up at me with his penetrating eyes and it was then that I fell in love with him. His brother Otim was very lively and had lots of energy. He never seemed to want to be held, but he loved to grab his brother out of my arms and pull him down to the ground when I was holding him .He was independent and though they were in such sharp contrast to each other in their demeanor, they were inseparable. They boys complemented each other, like Yin and Yang; they could not be more different, yet they could not live without each other. They were not biological brothers but had become as twins, always walking together, in the same stride, arms around each other. It wasn't uncommon for them to go up and hug one another. They were quite small at this time, only about two years old, and had been through a journey, coming to the Center as orphans and growing up only in each other's company.

And then I got to return in January of 2014 and see how much they have grown and see their transition from the quarantine as small infants and toddlers to the Chimp Island. They  have not yet been integrated with the older chimps, but they have certainly taken a step towards that. When I visited them, I was surprised because Otim came up first. He literally just jumped in my arms. And not for a second. He wanted to be held.  I am not sure how long I held him, but it surprised me since he is now considered the alpha among the four younger, male chimps. In fact, a snake got into their enclosure one evening and Otim stood tall and puffed his chest out making noises at the snake while the three others anxiously stood behind him. It was priceless to see such a strong boy, a leader, take his guard down and allow himself to be cuddled and loved. The best moment came toward the end of my visit as we walked back toward the Chimp House for breakfast, as Kasumba grabbed my pant legs and then tried to jump in my arms. I thought Otim would try to get down, but he allowed me to shift him entirely to my left arm so that Kasumba could come up on my right side. And, so I held both of the boys for some time, in the midst of the greenery and the sounds of the birds chirping. I could hear nothing else during that time except their song, the rustling of leaves, and the beating of my own heart. And, these were some of the best moments of my life.

My new obsession: BRAZIL NUT MILK!

It is once again my favorite time of year! I love the crisp, fresh air of fall, the cool mornings snuggled under a mountain of covers, my first trips in the evenings back to the sauna and steam room, the changing of the landscape to the most vibrant and jeweled earth tones, the digging in the bottom of my drawers to once again find socks, the excitement of planning weekend getaways, the over-indulgence in vegan treats at all of the fall festivals, the new yoga schedule, finding my hoodie for trapeze class, the fall campus, once again indulging in hot baths and tea late at night. There are so many things that I love about fall that I secretly long for the end of summer each year, even though this means that my travels will once again come to an end. One of the things that I love most about fall is a renewed interest in cooking, especially soups, and baking. During the summer, my fridge is stuffed with fresh produce, and I prefer to have lighter fare such as salads and smoothies. In particular, I love my green smoothies, which I make with either green juice, fresh spinach or kale, or frozen wheat grass. But when the weather starts to turn, I tend to feel cold all of the time. My nose turns to an ice cube and my fingers and toes feign frostbite. This is when I need to ditch my mostly raw foods approach to food and turn the stove top and the oven back on. I have also been busy making some new juices to ward off the falls colds going around campus, and have become very savvy at making my own nut milks.

I have really been craving three things recently: 1) coffee (which is unusual for me) 2) chocolate (not unusual at all) and nut milk. I have been buying cashew milk from Blue Print, but I have also made my own in vanilla and pumpkin flavors. I also combine the cashew milk with a decadent espresso from Whole Foods, pumpkin butter and pumpkin pie spice to make my own mocha lattes in the morning. I also recently made my own Brazil nut milk, and absolutely loved it! It is rich and creamy and I can't get enough of it!

Recipe

2 cups Brazil Nuts (from bulk section)

6-8 cups filtered water

1 tbsp scraped vanilla beans or vanilla bean powder

1 tbsp allspice

Raw agave nectar or raw honey to taste

Equipment

High-speed blender or Vitamix

Nut milk bag or strainder

Directions

Soak the Brazil nuts overnight in bowl covered with at least one inch of water. In the morning, drain the liquid and put softened nuts in the blender with filtered water, spices and sweetener. Blend on high speed for 30 seconds to one minute, then strain to separate liquids from solids.You can reserve the solids for baking or to make pancakes (I am working on a recipe for that now!). Refrigerate the milk until chilled. Enjoy and try not to become addicted!

Makes ~ 20 oz

I usually just drink my nut milk straight from the jar, but I found a recipe on the web for a coffee, cinnamon and cardamom granola with hazelnuts, so I made this and threw in some fresh raspberries- delish!!

Coffee Cardamom Cinnamon Granola, courtesy of 80/20 Blog

Drama Queen Beads

ACCRA, GHANA, June 2009

Most of the day was very low-key as I slept in, and did quite a bit of reading to review the literature on the plight of Liberian Refugees to prepare for my visit later this week. A highlight of the day came in the evening, as several vendors were invited to visit our group and teach us the difference between "authentic" merchandise and fake merchandise, equipping us to peruse the numerous Ghanian markets that surrounded our little enclave. The two prominent examples were the trading beads, which are now largely made into jewelry (but in the old days were used very much like we use money today) and the Kente cloth, which used to be woven by hand using a loom, but today is often mass-produced by machines. Clearly, you will pay more for the traditional beads and the hand-woven cloth, but unless you can discern the craftsmanship, you might be paying top dollar for the more commonly available items as well.

The items were all laid out on a very long table that is usually reserved for the buffet-style dinner that is served every evening. There were so many colors and textures that covered the table, making the atmosphere the one of a spectator at a Cirque de Soleil performance. And while I wasn’t eager to partake in the bargaining and shopping the other day, an overwhelming experience in the stifling heat, I made my first purchase this evening. The items laid out were a visual feast, as appetizing to the eyes, as food is to the palate, bringing me the same sensations as a bakery window laden with a diverse array of treats! A beautiful yet, mysterious string of chunky beads caught my attention as the multiple colors and patterns of each bead, situated in between equally whimsical and flighty beads reminded me of a fairy tale with villains, castles, forests, pirates, any mythical landscape that is usually distant, unknown and out of reach! So, here is where the real story begins, with these serendipitous beads : I ask Daniel, the seller, how much, and he replies, "80 cedis." The rule of thumb for bargaining is to offer half of the asking price and then find a middle ground from there so I counter and say that I will pay 40 cedis. Daniel reminds me that these are the real beads and not the fake ones at the end of the table, and says that he cannot take less than 70 cedis for them. I offer him 50 cedis, and since he still refuses, I proceed to gorge my visual appetite by perusing the other items on the table, hoping that he will lower his price if he feels that I am no longer interested in the beads. Ramenga, a professor of literature and the one leading our group of students, asks me how much Daniel wishes to charge me for the beads. When I tell him, he immediately proceeds to walk up towards Daniel, and very dramatically says, "After all of the years that I have been allowing you to come and sell especially to our students, you take advantage of me in this manner. You see there, she has been crying because she loves these beads, but your price is unreasonable. Why do you make my colleagues cry?" I then assert that I have not been crying at all, and he loudly overrules me and says, "yes, she has, she is devastated…how you can you cause such pain? How can you charge such high prices for these beads?" And to this Daniel replies, "Professor, you know how much these beads are worth, why do you undermine me so?" Ramenga, undeterred says, "We will take the beads for 50 cedis, but that is all" and it seems as though Daniel agrees. But at the last minute, he charges me 55 cedis, which didn’t bother me so much. But as I pass him the money in exchange for my new beads, Ramenga asks me the final price that I paid and he immediately heads back Daniel’s way and demands my 5 cedis back. Daniel reluctantly concedes, but I am now thoroughly embarrassed by this scene, and say that I don’t really care about the 5 cedis. Daniel had earlier mentioned that he would be visiting his grandmother near Kumasi after he left us, and so Ramega suggests that I offer the 5 cedis as a gift for his grandmother but that I sternly reiterate that it is not for the beads. Ramenga then also offers him 5 cedis for his grandmother’s gift and makes him put both bills in his opposite pocket, as it is not "his" money but for his grandmother.

Ramenga later tells me that he, of course, embellished the story about my crying not to suggest that I was crying to evoke sympathy for me or even to manipulate the transaction, but because bargaining is about a flair for the dramatic. For example, one of the fabrics that Daniel was selling had a couple of holes in it, and he had told me that these were cloths that were once worn by warriors, and that the holes were spear holes from battles that may have happened one hundred years ago! So, I did end up getting these beautiful beads for 55 cedis, but only after a quite spectacular scene! What the experience has taught me is that what I was told the on the first day here about bargaining is true, that is a conversation as well as a dramatic performance, more like an art form than a conventional transaction. If you are hunting for trinkets, you should reserve not just hours for perusing the racks of items like you would in a beloved flea market or consignment shop, but also must not expect a fast "check-out" but rather a swapping of tales, a meeting of wits, and a goodwill gift for the grandmother! But, at the end of this performance, you don’t walk out of the theater empty-handed. Perhaps equally important is the realization that a few of my family members should have actually been born Africans (no-names, of course!), and could be quite successful here as street vendors in Accra! Nevertheless, I now refer to the beads, as my "drama queen" necklace. And now I have to wonder, "Am I a real-life drama queen?" Just another reason to love Africa, the richest continent on earth as far as I am concerned...:)

Update on April 8, 2013- I am still trying to design a necklace for the beads. It is a long-time coming, but I am convinced that it will be spectacular!!

One more try...

As many of you are aware, I attempted to start a blog about my travels back in 2009. I think I got through four or five posts while in Ghana! But, I've decided to try again and to broaden the blog to my everyday life, which can include cooking, baking, animals, music, articles that I love (or am bewildered by!), writing, research, fitness, events, and other random posts, including travel! This will be a way that I can keep in touch with my family and friends since it is often difficult to see and talk to each person as much as I would like. So, here goes! I will first recycle a post from the previous blog about my time in Ghana. There are many other posts that I will have to catch up with about my time there and travels in Africa and Asia since then, and my current life! But to end this post, here is a little bit about me:

My word is wanderlust! I am an explorer at heart! My dream is to travel the world. I want to meet every person, see every country, and experience everything!

The things I enjoy most in life are gazing up at star-filled skies, waterfalls, swimming in the ocean, long bubble baths, a cup of hot tea, the taste of chocolate, counting the nights until the next full moon, hunting for treasures at flea markets, hanging out at coffee shops, buying locally at the famers market, green juice, CUPCAKES, experimenting with new recipes in my kitchen, long, passionate kisses, the sound of a violin, spending time with my friends, planning my next trip, anything that is an adventure, yoga, weight-training, hiking, bizarre dreams, beautiful sunsets, counting the spots on Dalmatians, the smell of fresh-cut grass, the high of being in love, and playing in fields of sunflowers (of any other flower!).

When I am not out exploring or dreaming, I am an assistant professor at James Madison University, where I teach courses on American government, immigration policy and minority politics. I currently do research on these topics, and am thinking about migration due to climate change and animal rights and protection as my future fields of inquiry. 

LITTLE TIDBIT- I wanted to name this blog "kale and cupcakes" after my two favorite foods, but the I googled it just to check, and sure enough, someone had a blog names "CupcakesandKale." Can you believe it? But, the recipes look interesting...I will be checking it out later!